Solutions to your relationship problems:
winning my husband back or
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This question is frequently asked by my lady-readers, - generally overworked (job, children, uncountable domestic chores, shopping, routine...). One day they realize that they have missed something: even if their partner is still physically present, he's not anymore really there. (And often, he gets "somebody else" in his mind.) Hence, these women are deeply suffering from injustice. Isn't it rather normal?
« 100 Sure Ways To Help Your Couple »
There obviously are several answers as the case may be, but the general idea is the same:
1. On the rocky road of the life as a couple, many women stumble over a difficult obstacle, - the control of their feelings. Their irritation, their anger are often justified: how not to feel bitterness or... revolt facing the passivity and the lack of initiative of their mate; in front of his frequent egoïsm, his owner's attitudes ("you belong to me!") considering your attachment to him as definitively acquired?
In front of a man clamped in his certainties, who never calls into question his authoritarian behavior, his indifference to the expectations of the one that he pretends to love??
However, anger is a bad counselor; to make your partner feel guilty is never the solution: your agreement as a couple depends on the two of you and rejecting the whole responsibility of your tensions on him alone is rarely justified.
2. It's now time to find in yourself the force to speak to him, to retie a true dialogue. Keeping a moderated voice tone, you can express him your expectations or propose him a choice. You can explain to him "eye to eye, knee to knee", the changes which would be welcome in your daily life. [Noting them down on a small list will help you!]
But the crux of the problem is this sensation of powerlessness in front of the injustice.
From then on, instead of having a calm conversation as lucid and well-balanced adults in order to establish an action plan - a concrete one, based on an exchange of concessions -, the discussion often turns short. Shouts, tears, lack of understanding lead to a real difficulty to manage an argued dialogue without any hostility.
3. - "Yes, o.k.! It's true, I should keep cool. But how to get him back, if he left, well and truly??"
The answer will be balanced: if the communication is broken, if your tenderness is since a long time unexpressed, if his love seems faded, you have to make him understand (even in a short letter) that your love is still real, that you still value your relationship, that your heart and your door will remain opened to him - under certain conditions.
On the other hand, if there are still some feelings, if love is not far away, if it 'smoulders under the embers', maybe you could hold out the hand to him. But you have both to realize that some of your respective attitudes in the daily life must change and that you have to make much more things together: communicating; sharing activities, projects, a goal or an objective in common; expressing your respective expectations as simple demands; listening with empathy to your partner, etc.
You'll have more often to think of your mate's happiness, for example during your intimate moments. You also need to behave yourselves as allies, as friends who will be stronger together to move in the same direction.
4. It's necessary to understand that reproaches are as vain as tears or raising your voice tone: to make him feel guilty will never make things move... Simply explaining and asking more often what you'd like give better results. Otherwise, if this still remains insufficient, it can be useful to place him in front of a choice.
He will more easily realize his error facing the sincere expression of your tenderness and your desire, your initiatives in doing activities together, your optimism, your possible regrets, - than listening to your accusations. If you had the luck to know with him "the big love", he did not forget it either.
5. Every solid and long-lasting couples always maintain good communication; they speak together daily, - you know it. How are they doing that? Among others by sharing: dialogues, activities, fields of interest, projects which pull them forward, objectives, commitments, dreams, moments of delight, - or revolt. To make it short, by often being actively the one with the other, not next to them.
6. You would like to see him coming back? To breathe some fresh air into your relationship? The secret simply is to SPEAK together, daily! There are techniques for that, simple and easy to implement. They are presented in my program/book. Other excellent means, if you still love him are:
7. To express your tenderness every day to your beloved; to value him in every occasion; to repeat to him (if it is the case) how much you appreciate his personality, his qualities, what he does and your relationship. Every human being needs to be 'recognized', it's an indispensable element to self-confidence - and for a good agreement.
8. In putting yourself in his place, you can show him that you sincerely try to understand him, without judgment. Being understood instead of being judged is a miracle-remedy in every couples.
9. Chase away the routine in your daily life, as in your intimacy (there are the other manners than the "missionary"): it is rather easy to sweep your taboos if you have some: it is enough to love and to want it. Spice your intimate moments! What man would remain insensible to the charm of a partner who surprises him?
10. Make him laugh! A couple which doesn't laugh anymore is boring!
Etc., etc. It's your turn now to show yourself creative, to find other presonal ideas.
These are some simple and evident reminders; several are as valuable for him! Will they have the merit to make you think about the best adapted way (in your situation) to « reconquer » the attention and the tenderness of your partner? It is my sincere wish.
These ideas among many others concerning every aspects of your life as a couple are developed in my method,
You'll find there 100 easy to implement, practical and efficient suggestions to boost your life as a couple and live again with your soul mate the passion, the enthusiasm and the romanticism of your first dates because, - you'll easily check it -, with a touch of goodwill, Love remains the strongest!
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